Say Something Nice

Have you ever watched 19 kids & counting?  I really like that show.  Whenever I watch it, I'm inspired and I want to be better.  In one particular show, I remember the mom and dad (Michelle & Jim Bob Duggar) talking about how every night they go around the room and each person will say one nice thing about everyone else there.  After each compliment made, everyone would clap.  They said that clapping after, multiplies that compliment by the times however many people are there.  For example, for the Duggers, a kid would compliment their sibling and everyone else clapping, making that 1 compliment 20xs (2 parents + 18 kids) more powerful.  I thought that was pretty amazing.

Receiving compliments are fun to get.  It makes you feel good about yourself AND it boosts you confidence.  giving compliments are also fun to give.  It makes you focus on what you admire about the other person (and maybe not so much on the bad stuff :) and it makes you feel good that you made that other person happy.

I thought that this was a VERY awesome thing to start with my own family.  We decided to do it at the end of the day, right before saying family prayer.  Me and Cam thought that that would be a perfect time to do it because sometimes, we get overwhelmed with the kids.  Seems like they're not listening and not doing what we want them to do and everyone ends up being upset.  This should NOT be the feeling while saying family prayer.  Instead of it being a time to actually talk to Heavenly Father, it ends up being just a check off the "things-we're-suppose-to-be-doing" list.  I figure that saying something nice about everyone in the room would break whatever bad feeling or anger that is being felt and we would have a nice family prayer.

I've been wanting to do this for a while but actually just started doing it about 2 weeks ago.  I have already been seeing a difference.  Na'u LOVES it!   The very first time we did it, it was just me, Cameron, and Na'u.  Iwi was on Moloka'i.  I went first and we all clapped.  Then Cam went and everyone clapped.  When it was Na'u's turn, she was a little shy and didn't know what to say.  So, I whispered to her something about Cameron for her to say and then Cameron did the same thing for me.  She was HAPPY that she contributed.

Here are some different comments that have been made thus far-

Daddy-I like your smile.  I like how you take care of Na'u when she's sick.

Mommy-I like that you cook for us.  I like your long hair.

Na'ulei-I like how you share your toys.  I like how you help with Loli'i.

Iwi Boy-I like how you are learning your colors.  I like it when you're nice to your sister.

Loli'i-I like your gummy smile.  I like that you are eating all of your food and vegetables.

Now, after doing this everyday for the past 2 weeks, I have already seen a difference.  Just yesterday, Na'u at breakfast, asked if she could say something nice about everyone.  I told her sure and she did.  Last night, she wanted to go first AND again after everyone had a turn.  You can tell that she likes to say nice things about everyone else.  She is even the one to remember to say something about Loli'i because most of the time he is already sleeping in his crib by the time we do it.  Iwi doesn't quite take part in it just yet.  We try to whisper something for him to say but with his limited speech, the compliment doesn't make out :).  I'm sure though that one day soon he will.

I know that there are things that we need to work on but I know that doing this, pushes us in the right direction of being kind to one another and recognizing how special the other members of our family are.  I think that you all should start this.  I am sure that this will only strengthen our family relationships because family is what matters most.